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It’s the brisk cold of the Indiana air that clings to Sarah Tillbrook’s frigid face, a haunting bleakness that stands as a solemn reminder of the harsh barren winter that reflects what’s still destined to come. Though as she sits in the bleachers, smothering her neck in her Rush River High School scarf, what she sits there in waiting makes it all worth the while.
The excitement clings to her, just as harsh as the chilled air clings to her soft, pale, satin like skin, highlighted and glistening from the football field flood lights, illuminating this cold and unforgiving night. A night that reflects just who it is and what she cheers for. A night that has called for her to release her inner-most desires for way too long now and, tonight after the game, her passions, as well as her virginity, would give into who she has craved for.
A small gust of wind now swirls around the bleachers, lifting up her long silky ebony hair, as it sways in the breeze. Her matching gloves, showing her high school colors, fit snug around her petite, and ever so delicate small fingers, as her Rush River High School jacket, keeps the rest of her tight, heavenly shaped frame, snuggled inside.
The anticipation of the crowd grows, as both high school bands march off the field and, with each bursting second that follows so does hers.
“Here comes the Sabers.” Her chilled breath calls, fogging in the night air, like a hovering cloud sharing its presence.
“Black bastards,” her father’s ill prejudice tone swells up, “probably been stealin’ since they could all crawl, the whole lot of’em. Their mascot should be a coon.”
Sarah gives a quick obnoxious roll of her eyes, ignoring him as usual, shrugging her shoulders as she hears her mother, Leah, shushing him as he said it. Not that her mother didn’t disagree, but the fact of the matter is, it’s elbow to elbow in the bleachers and she didn’t want anybody else to hear him. A blood family trait that Sarah had refused all of her life and tonight that’s the last thing she wants to endure.
The Eastside Indianapolis High School Sabers charge the field, predominately black and a sight that the Rush River players rarely see, being from a small rural farm town, about an hours drive away from this major metropolis of Indianapolis. Though tonight, just like all of the Rush River Snowdogs Friday night football games, it seems the entire town is here. A town full of people with pride when it came to their beloved Rush River Snowdogs. A town that’s built on two things, football and corn, and contrary to the nations belief, in this part of the crossroads of America state, football always came first.
In fact, if not for the guarding scrutiny and vigilance Sarah’s parents keep on her, she would be off with her friends, getting ready to cheer with them on the sidelines. Her mother never appreciated the short cheerleading uniforms the girls wear, and absolutely forbid her to join the squad. But soon it will all be over and Sarah knows it. This is her final year in high school, and in all that Sarah looks forward to, it’s the plans that she and her boyfriend have made that she holds most sacred.
“Here comes our boys.” Sarah’s Father sways up, now standing with the rest of the crowd seeing them make their entrance.
“My Russell,” Leah’s voice follows. “Reminds me of when Jake played for the team.”
“I know Mom, me too.” Sarah’s soft frail tone catches where she’s heading. “Wish he was here with us instead of…”
“Now don’t get her goin’ Sarah.” Her father gives a stiff hard look.
“Oh Russell, can’t blame Sarah for missin’ her brother much as I do. Much as we all do…pains me to think where he’s at right now.”
“He knew what he was doin’ when he joined Leah.” His chin keeps that same stern stiffness whenever the subject’s brought up. “Makes me proud to know our boy’s off in Iraq fightin’ for his country…Goddamn bunch of sand coons anyway. Kill’em all, I say.”
“Daddy,” Sarah scowls her disapproval, then suddenly lowers her tone, taking notice to some of the people around them overhearing her father’s indulgence. “Can’t we just enjoy the game without hearing any of that tonight…for once?”
“Well excuse me for breathin’.” Her father flares up, as he peels his eyes back down to the field.
The shame that Sarah feels about her family’s prejudice runs much deeper that they could ever have surmised. Their constant degrading and belligerent outcasts has left a stain of remorse that she has shunned all of her life, and perhaps, because of their demeanor, it had been the one thing to push her far beyond the realms to the other side, knowing what she hides from them and knowing what she’ll keep hiding. To Sarah, the world is full of compromise, and in this infinite red tape of disillusions her family has unmasked, she has seen it for what it is, a cold and hard reminder to the truth that exists before her. They will never feel and breathe what it is that she does, and they will never come to accept what has always guided her heart. To judge someone without any merit at all, going strictly by their skin color, would be to judge your own soul and Sarah’s is an open and caring book. Loving people for who they are and what they bring. Every time she hears their degradation’s, it’s the thought of her boyfriend she protects the most. Knowing how they feel and sure of how they’d react if they ever found out.
As Sarah had thought about him, her eyes hold and reflect this steady comfort to him down on the field. What she sees, her coveting hidden smile brings to life everything that she feels for him. A passion and embrace, regardless of his back ground, a long lasting endearment of their love that cradles her deepest emotions.
“There goes Pedro’s boy, Miguel, leadin’em out just as always.” Her father’s swaying eyes shutter with his thoughts.
“How come he’s always the one to lead’em out?” Leah’s tone pitches up.
“Well he is the team captain Mom.” Sarah begins clapping with the rest of the crowd, as their anticipation for the Snowdogs now erupts into cheers. “Not to mention the star quarter back. Why he’s the whole reason we’re here.” Her tone pivots above the noise. “Town as small as ours never been in the state championship before. You know he’s already signed his letter of intent with Indiana. He’s gonna be a Hoosier just like I wanna be Mom.”
“Oh Sarah,” her mother’s lingering tone hangs in the air, like an exasperating pretense that’s heard it all before. “Don’t start all that up again. You know how me and your father disapprove of that campus.”
“But…”
“But nothin’ young lady,” her father’s stern chin turns to confront her. “We’ve already decided your goin’ to St. Mary’s College and that’s that.” His eyes steep his brows, holding on to that same forbidding look he always dares to tread. “St. Mary’s nice, respectful campus and it’s close to home. Unlike Bloomington, which is well over a couple hours away.”
Though his real reasons are apparent just as they’ve always been, there are way too many black students at Indiana and that has always been the sole purpose for his rejection.
Sarah just holds her thoughts for now, holding back the words she’s craved to slander. Her small rounded shoulders cradle her neck, as her eyes shroud her conscience, leaving this one elated promise she has made to herself, she is going to Indiana with Gil and there’s nothing they can do to stop her. Once she was on her own, away from their ill tainted conceptions, she would no longer have to hide her and Gil’s relationship. They would be free to openly love each other, to be with each other, regardless if her parents would accept it.
“Well whatever you all think of that,” Sarah now perks her thoughts. “I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Sanchez are real proud of what Gil’s been able to accomplish.”
“He ain’t accomplished nothin’ yet.” Her father’s quick to impede. “Snowdogs still gotta win this game. I just hope his kinds got the back bone to do it. Lord knows Pedro’s never been a good influence on’em.”
“Why Daddy, what on earth’s that s’pose to mean?” Sarah finds herself quick to defend him. In doing so, finds her whole reason is to defend Gil in the process.
“You forgettin’ I had to ban’em from our farm couple years ago.”
“You mean you fired’em because you thought he stole your lousy ol’ pocket knife.” Sarah shutters her eyes, “though if I remember right, you found it in your truck a couple days later.”
“Sarah,” her mother scolds. “That’s enough.”
“That’s alright Hun,” Russell waves her off. “You know how she gets. I still say Pedro planted that knife there after I told’em I know he’d took it.” Russell Always having to get the last word in, a subject that he’s always found himself arguing to Sarah. Too many times she has stuck up for that family and Russell has always been suspicious of why, though he could never have surmised what truth stood behind it.
Even though Gil’s parents knew about their relationship, to their credit they have never told Sarah’s parents about it and never harbored any misgiving feelings for her. Instead just accepted Russell for who he was and was glad to accepted Sarah for who she wasn’t.
Gil’s success on the football field had brought a new respect for the Sanchez’. An open and flaunting respect throughout Rush County and what it had brought to Sarah is her openness to feel what they have always struggled in a town that had looked down on their minorities. Minorities that work for farmers and farmers who hold a high standing prejudice of who they feel are inferior to them.
Though for now the town filled with pride in every Rush River citizen. Sarah knew all to well that the Snowdogs are the talk of the county as well as the state right now. For weeks leading up to this game she had helped the Senior Class Committee, as well as all the others, decorate the town. An action taken strictly for her own self gains, using the time away from her family to be close to Gil, harboring their secrets and justifying its rewards. Being with each other was the only thing that mattered and as her eyes focus to his jersey number, warming up down on the field, she shuts her parents out and now concentrates on this pure enrapturing splendor that number twenty-one engulfs her with whenever she sees him. A pure uplifting ambience she has felt for him all these months. Hating to have to hide how she feels about him to her parents, the one self-conflicting burden she has begged God to free her from.
To be free is all she wanted, to have a life with Gil is all she craved. In this yearning state of defiance that has uplifted her to rebel against her parents, Sarah had seen and heard enough of their contradictions to last her a lifetime, now spotting her best friend Cassandra making her way up the bleachers. Thankful for the interruption, knowing, just like always, Cass has come to save her.
“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Tillbrook,” she waves to them both. Flashing her school colored gloves, nudging herself between them and Sarah, wearing the exact school clothing that their daughter has on.
“Hey there Cass,” Leah sways back, as Russell just gives a grunt.
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